When your loved one enters an assisted living community, you may feel uncomfortable about visiting him/her. But visiting family or friends living in an assisted living community can open your world to activities, fun, and acquaintances you may not experience elsewhere. Although it can feel difficult or intrusive, spending time with a family member or friend who lives in an assisted living community gives your loved one the opportunity to stay connected with you, your family, and his/her former lifestyle. These moments are precious and beneficial for both the patient and the visitor. Visiting someone in an assisted living community often helps his/her health and gives the visitor both positive memories and an opportunity to become comfortable with your loved one’s new surroundings.

What Should I Do When I Visit?

Base Your Interactions on What You Know About Your Loved One – Some visitors believe they must talk constantly when visiting a friend or family member in assisted living. It may feel like you need to say something because you are both sitting in a room, but your physical presence is more important than activity.

Give your loved one the opportunity to share his/her thoughts and feelings with you by asking questions that require open-ended rather than “yes” or “no” answers – How do you feel today? What did you have for dinner/breakfast/lunch today? What activities did you participate in today? Which activities do you want to participate in tomorrow? How did you participate in the painting activity today? Or you can share family information and news, show new family photos on your smartphone, look at old family photo albums together, and even show your loved one a video of family or friends saying hello to your loved one.

One family helped two aged sisters in different states stay in contact by using their smartphones to digitally record videos of the sisters talking about how they are doing, and even singing old childhood songs to each other! The joy these simple videos brought to both sisters kept them close despite the miles between them. Another family member held a weekly Bible study with her aged mother to help keep her faith strong despite being unable to attend her church. And some family members watch major league sports games on TV with their loved ones, cheering on and/or agonizing over the events of their favorite teams. Yet other family members take their loved one on short drives around the community or to get an ice cream cone each week.

Be Patient – Depending on the reason why your loved one is residing in an assisted living community, his/her periods of activity and conversation may be interspersed with periods of sleep or rest. This is natural. Don’t try to fill the space, just be present physically for them.

Ask for Help – If there are moments when something occurs that makes you uncomfortable, ask a staff member for help.

Visit On Your Schedule – General visitation hours at an assisted living community are focused on the residents, and because most seniors keep to an early bedtime schedule, the main doors of a community typically are locked at 8:00 pm each evening. But immediate family members have the right to stay overnight with their loved one, eat meals together in the dining hall, and attend activities together. So don’t be shy! Quality rather than quantity is most important to your loved one. He/She knows you care enough to visit no matter how long or short each visit is.

What Should I Avoid When I Visit?

Visiting While You are Ill – Bringing disease into an assisted living community can negatively impact your loved one as well as other residents. Please do not visit if you are sick, even if it is just “the sniffles” or a cough.

Feeling Shame – There may be many negative emotions during this time, but do not let them motivate your visits. If you find intense regrets or grief overwhelming your visit, take a break. If needed, seek counseling.

Visiting a loved one in an assisted living community can be a great aid to his/her overall quality of life. At The Terrace Assisted Living Community, we value the interest and attention our visitors provide for our residents. If you have questions about visits or other topics important to your loved one’s care, please call us at 636-271-4222 and discuss your loved one’s needs!